Being the good dog-sitter that I am, I took Jack for a walk around the area. I was in the mood for a walk and figured he needed to stretch his legs too. I grabbed the leash from the hook, attached it to his collar, and began our brisk journey. From the beginning I knew he would be a challenge to keep controlled. Jack is the most free-spirited animal I have ever known. I was worried the leash would soon fail me and I would find myself running after him.
And that's exactly what happened. Mid-walk, Jack and I were walking down one of the oh-so-lovely Nyack hills and I wanted to walk back up the one across the street. But no, Mr. Jack would not settle for that. He wanted to keep walking. I tugged and said his name with proper authority of good dog owner (right?). He just stared at me. Literally.
And before I knew it, he was tugging the leash even more and eventually PULLED IT OFF HIS HEAD and kept walking ahead. I wish you could have seen my face, I know the cars of the oncoming traffic did. I was embarrassed at my lack of control and knew I had to make a decision before he got too far ahead: either head back home, knowing he would eventually come back or
go and follow him with hope of reattaching his collar. I settled with the latter. I smiled and said a quick prayer, "God, please don't let me lose Jack. That would be really bad. And don't let him get hit by a car, that would be really REALLY bad."
Jack was about 100 feet in front of me and would occasionally look back to see if I was following him. He was a sly little pup. He knew I'd follow him; I could tell it was a game to him. So I kept following him for a few minutes, periodically calling his name, hoping he would actually listen to me.
A few minutes later he stopped to sniff a bush by a house. I thought to myself, "Don't. move. don't. move." I walked closer and he eventually looked at me with his precious, heart-melting eyes. "Gooood boy," I told him as I clipped his collar back on.
At that point, I figured we could turn back and head home or continue on the road ahead. I shrugged and continued to walk. And it was a beautiful walk to say the least. I got to see a pretty neighborhood that I hadn't ventured into yet and some exquisitely historic homes overlooking the Hudson. I loved this kind of stuff. The sun was shining and the air was crisp, just the way I like it in the winter. I looked down at Jack as he began to leave his lovely little mark on the tree beside me and thanked him for being rambunctious and leading me to this small, but delightful neighborhood.
The rest of the walk was definitely give-and-take. When Jack wouldn't want to go in the direction I was headed, he would stop dead in his tracks and look at me. I could imagine him thinking, "Oh, so you think YOU'RE in control??"
Eventually we reached home. He was full of life and seemed satisfied with our walk.
A little later, I started to think more about my funny morning and how much I loved Jack for his independence. Then I got to thinking about me and my obsession for control over my life. The only way to dispel the anxiety I build up is to organize my life and make sure it is in order, I'm a compulsive list-maker and busyness exhilarates my life. And what often, usually always, falls into this category of control is my relationship with my Abba Father. I'm the kind of person that needs to know the details of my life so that I can ensure a successful outcome for my endeavors.
I put God on a leash.
And as I walk through life with Him, I always have a planned route for where I want to head. I know what I need to do to get there, so I work for that, relying on my achievement to fuel my future. Silly me. When I hold this leash too tight, I get in trouble. God looks me in the eyes, stands firm, and says no. He has other plans. And He will stop at nothing to see them into fruition. Even if it means ripping the collar of my human "control" off and walking away, waiting in anticipation for me to follow.
But man, when I follow, it is so good. So. so. so. good. Releasing control over our lives lets God draw us into new places that we haven't explored. He knows what we like, and He knows how to get us there, we just have to trust Him. We have to follow.
So, how tight is your leash on your life? Maybe you should loosen it a bit.